Expectations

John and I had a fight last night that made me take a hard look at my expectations for myself in our marriage. A college friend of ours just accepted a job in our area, and started moving into her apartment last night. We were there to help her, and we ended up migrating into her bathroom (it's big, and right now it has the best lighting and places to sit). She made a comment about her towel rack, and John said something to the effect of "the only towel rack I need is the shower curtain bar."

The conversation continued as follows:
Me: "Well, I want you to use the towel rack."
Him: "Why? Give me one good reason why it's different."
Me: "It looks less cluttered. Things have a place, and that's not it."
Him: "Since when have we cared about cluttered? Look at my room! Look at yours!" (To be fair, he has a point).
Me: "Things are going to be different, because that will be our home. I want to keep it nice."
Him: "You didn't care at [names the apartments we lived in in college]."
Me: "Those were dorms."
Him: "I give this three weeks."

I was really offended. When I stopped to look at why, I realized that even though I would never expect another woman to keep her home spic & span, I expected it from myself. In my mind, to be the perfect wife I would have to learn to be superwoman: keep the home clean, cook, maybe do laundry, be the breadwinner, be a perfect hostess, and make and help raise beautiful kids. (Being a tiger in the bedroom is also part of it, but that's irrelevant to this post). His comment that he didn't think I was capable of doing this was extremely cutting.

I know I don't need to do all this. John's told me he does not expect this from me at all. I know he's there to help me. But part of me still thinks I need to be the perfect 1950s wife, along with holding a job and bringing in a strong income. At least I've acknowledged I have this view, and that's the first step towards fixing it...

Snooooooooooooow

What is it about snow that makes me so unproductive?

It's pretty? Cold? Makes me revert back to age 7? Hard to drive in? IDK. All I know is that I have a complete block on doing ANYTHING right now. Northern VA just got it's first major snowfall of the winter (about freakin time!) and I just want to stay at a standstill.

I went out on Tuesday morning and it was snowing, and sticking! Driving to work was ok, until about 7:40 when it started to get bad. I had one really bad fishtailing incident (I don't know how I didn't get into an accident), and ended up reaching the same conclusion I had reached back when I had my learner's permit: I can't drive in snow. By the time I left, major roads had been treated, so I went to John's place. I ended up staying the night there, and went into work late yesterday. Schools were closed.

So what does this have to do with weddings? Not too much. I just realized what both the best and hardest part of being married is going to be: being together. Sitting in his home drinking red wine while it was snowing out was great. Getting off my butt to leave for work the next morning, not so much so. It's easy to do when I'm alone, but a lot harder to do when I could be cuddling instead. I guess that will come with time.

So... snow, anyone?

(Picture Source)

Vendors

One of the best ways I've found to both save money and get an awesome professional is to hire someone who is new to the wedding business. Since they're just getting off the ground, they're normally only really charging for the equipment/fees associated with doing the wedding. You can see pretty clearly who has talent (that might need polishing) and who just picked up a piece of equipment and went to town. My long engagement has really helped me out in this regard. I was able to watch a few releases of work and see how it evolved (and if it evolved!). It kept me out of booking someone who didn't know what they were doing. I've saved about $4000 this way!

Take, for example, my photographers. Husband and wife team, all day coverage, unlimited locations, rights to digital negatives, sittings for e-pics, b-pics and TTD with rights to the negatives for one, and a magazine style album for about half to a third of what one would pay for a more established photographer in my area. The husband was a photographer before, and then the wife started up with him, and they went into the wedding business together. I've actually been able to look at the work they've displayed on their webpage, and I've seen the evolution of their work. It will be amazing come July. They'd been in the business for two years, I think, when I booked them.

I recently blogged about my videographer, another favorite. She holds a media arts degree from UVA, and started doing wedding footage. She'd only been in the business a few months when I contacted her. There are obvious improvements, both from the better equipment and from the increase in experience. I'm getting two cameras for the ceremony and one for the reception, and I'm paying a third of what I would have paid for someone in the business longer.

My invitations are a *slightly* different story. I'm not saving money, per se, but I'm getting better quality. I had originally planned on getting invitations from theamericanwedding.com, sweet, simple, to the point. I'd found some pretty silver ones, and I really didn't think I needed anything that complex. An acquaintance of mine recently started an invitation business and she asked me if I would be interested in having her do my invitations. The cost is about even with how much I would have paid for The American Wedding invites (both of these include envelopes, inserts, thank you cards, etc) but now I'm getting gorgeous, colorful ones of higher quality. I didn't even realize I wanted it until the option was there!

Are you using any new wedding vendors? How has your experience panned out?

I guess I feel a little bridezilla.

The first weekend in December, I had b-pics done. It was great. I felt gorgeous and very sexy. That feeling of confidence was almost completely unmatched, and it really paid off both for me and for John. We celebrated his birthday that weekend and I just felt really good about myself, which translated into both of us having fun (and no, this is not a sexual allusion).

I got my teaser photos back about four days later. They were stunning. Sexy, tasteful, gorgeous. From the four pictures I saw, I could tell that how good I felt translated well onto the camera. I couldn't wait to see the rest of them.

Now, I understood that it could take a little while to get these pictures back to me. I'd known far in advance that my photographers had out-of-town family and Christmas plans (I'd tried to schedule for Jan. 3), and let's face it, I wasn't thinking about getting my pictures back at that point, I was focused on the holidays. About a month after the shoot though, I started to wonder when I'd see the rest of the pictures, so I emailed my photographer.

Turns out a large part of the reason I hadn't seen the photos yet was because she'd been in the hospital for six days with a kidney infection. Couple this with the fact she was heavily pregnant... totally understood. She told me she was working on them, and I'd see them in a week. Cool! Well, two weeks pass and I email her again... and get an auto-response saying she had the baby. Sigh.

I feel really bad about this. Part of me is a little upset, it's been almost 2 months since the photo shoot, and I've only seen 4 teasers. Then there's the part of me that's hitting that part upside the head... she's been in the hospital twice in this time period! And one of them was to have a child! I'm not badgering her about it, I've only followed up twice, but I feel bad for feeling upset about my photos.

Smack some sense into me.

My MOH

This seems like a good day to blog about my MOH, because I'm particularly proud of her today. So let's start there: Last night, Carlin got her acceptance letter to my college!! I'm so happy and proud of her. She even waited until I got home to open the letter (not that she didn't know what was coming. You could see "Congratulations on your acc" through the envelope window, and the envelope flap said "Welcome to CNU!"). She had a handwritten "Welcome, Carlin!" on her letter. This was the first letter, positive or negative, to come in, so we're really happy.

Choosing my MOH was easy. I've always known my sister would be my MOH. When I pictured my wedding day, standing on the altar, I knew immediately that the person directly behind me would be her. We're 5 years apart in age, but we've always been close. We're similar enough to get each other, but different enough that it isn't boring. Plus, as you can see from our adorable Florida picture, we are stunningly photogenic together ;) We wear the same clothes, we have similar taste in people, if that makes sense. I once sent her a bumpersticker on facebook that read "We hate all the same people." Oddly enough, true. Picture on the left of us hating the same bad 4th of July music. We share a love of Chipotle, but I don't think that makes us unique.

We're different in that she's more focused than I am. She really pushes herself, whereas I can be a bit lazy (I'll work hard if I can't do something, but I won't push myself extra hard if I can). As I mentioned before, she likes some bad music. High school stuff. We have basic differences in the fact that I'm 22 and out of college, and she's 17 and in high school. But all in all, 20 years down the line I know we'll still be close. I'll call her up to talk about socks. She's the best sister I ever could have asked for.

Who is your MOH? How did you choose?

Videographer

I touched on this a little in my sales/guestbook post, but we met with our videographer over the weekend. We're having our wedding done by Draw a Tree Productions, which is about to merge with Photoria. I've really enjoyed working with Jen so far, for a few reasons.

1. She's new to the business, and I really like that. I've really enjoyed the newer vendors, because you're still getting a lot of artistic vision and passion for their work, but your view is seen as incredibly important. The feeling that I've gotten from more established vendors is that they know their style, and won't deviate from it, to a point where when I've outlined what I wanted in a meeting, they'd tell me that it wouldn't work. (Note: these aren't logistical things, they're more along the lines of: turquoise and pink don't go together). You also get much better prices.

2. When I was looking for a videographer, I really just wanted the ceremony. A few videographers tried to talk me out of it, or even stopped communicating with me when I told them my budget, but Jen just went with it. She was ok with whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it.

3. In our first meeting, we found out we went to elementary school together! How crazy is that? She was a year above me, but still, that's really cool.

4. I love watching her work evolve. The first clips she gave us were pretty, but a bit amateurish. The next ones were more professional. The next ones, even better. When we mentioned we were concerned about the sound, she put off getting a contract until she could show us her new work with her new sound equipment. It was awesome. I can't wait to see what she's able to do with ours, because she gets better every video.

Sadly, Jen and Draw a Tree are no longer offering wedding services if you did not contact them before Jan. 11. Like I mentioned, they merged with Photoria, which is her family's new photography studio. Jen will be working on documentaries. I really look forward to seeing what she'll be doing there, and what she'll do with our wedding!

Are you working with any vendors who are new to the wedding business?

Centerpiece idea... updated!

I love the simple look of hydrangeas in a square vase. They're short, so people don't have look around them to talk to the people across the table, they can be colorful (depending on the hydrangea) and they look so full. I had originally really liked the idea of a floating votive in a vase with flower petals surrounding it, but fell in love with hydrangeas when I saw the photo on the left (sorry, I don't remember where I found it).

We already had the same type of beads in our colors (turquoise and silver) as the ones featured in the picture, but with the pink hydrangeas it was perfect. When I brought the idea up to my mom, she made it even better... hydrangeas get their color from the conditions of their soil. We could change the soil in our garden to make the hydrangeas we had pink! I was so pumped. But I still missed the candle idea.

Then I saw this centerpiece idea. (Source) The hydrangeas looked so full, and the votives go perfectly. Bath and Body Works sells tealights, $5 for 30, so I bought 2 bags. They had great reviews, too... everyone who reviewed the product said they lasted 4-5 hours. I'm thinking I'll pick up votive holders closer to the wedding, once I have a more accurate count of how many tables I'll have. You only need so many votive holders. I'll also buy the square vases at that time. I've found some I like at Ikea, $2.50 each. So I guess I lied again... I'm DIY-ing this, too. I'm on a roll!

So the colors and the marbles from picture one, same layout as picture 2, minus the greenery. Not a big fan of all the leaves. What do you think? What are you doing for your centerpieces?

Sales and guestbooks!

I must say, the plus to this recession is that it's a buyers' market, and that means sales! I read on P&E, I think, that Joann Fabrics was having a big sale. I did not receive bad information. There's a Joann's right near my house, so I dropped by after work yesterday. I saved more than 50%! I got a scrapbook, 15 sheets of cardstock, elastic, some fabric for my garter (I ended up going an entirely different route than I talked about below, but that's a later post!) and 2 photo frames (1 4x6 and 1 5x7) for under $19. According to my receipt, I saved $25.85.

I also had really good luck over the holidays in hunting for bridesmaids gifts. I found $35 purses marked down to $12, $20 earrings down to $12, $12 hand scrubs for $6, and $7 lipglosses for $1.75.

Anyway, back to Joann. The sale convinced me that we wanted to actually use one of the cutesy ideas you see on the knot... Polaroid guest books. On Sunday, we met with our videographer to see her latest work (she's pretty new to videography, so we wanted to see the new work before we committed). One of the weddings she shot had a Polaroid guest book, and John loved it. He normally tells me if he likes my ideas or not, but he rarely jumps on board with an idea that quickly.

(Photo source)

When I went to Joann's and saw that scrapbooks were 40% off, and cardstock was 6 sheets for $0.96, I couldn't pass up the opportunity. I bought a white photo album style scrapbook, 9 smaller sheets of cardstock in pink, and 6 larger ones in turquoise. We're going to get a nice silver pen for signing. Lucky for me, it turns out we actually do have a Polaroid camera, and I wasn't totally jumping the gun. We just have to buy some more film for it.

Have you hit any really great sales in the last few months?

The step I can't take.

For the past 22 months (yikes!) I've been keeping a diligent countdown to the wedding day. 2 years, 3 months. 1 year, 11.5 months. 1 year, 6 months, etc. In the last six months, I've been big on "and a half." Eight months, just under eight months, seven and a half months, just over six months... then I hit six months. I cannot bring myself to say "five and a half months." Technically, that's what I hit today. Five months, two weeks, and one day until the wedding, but I can't spit out anything besides "about six months."

Goofy, I know. Probably almost as goofy as my previous countdown. I'm not even sure why I have that mental block... I'm two vendors away from having everything booked, and one of those vendors has us penciled in. In fact, all we're waiting on is paychecks to book these vendors. We'll have Engaged Encounter booked soon... I really don't know what's bringing this up. Five and a half months just seems a lot smaller than six months for some reason, and it reminds me of everything I still have to do, despite the fact that I'm really ahead of the game.

Sigh. I'm 100% sure this has nothing to do with John. It's more that we've been engaged for so long, so we've been hearing "The wedding is so far away, you have so much time!" Well, now the wedding isn't so far away, and we don't have so much time. The things we put off, like getting our marriage affidavits done, booking Engaged Encounter and talking to the priest about the actual ceremony need to be done in the upcoming weeks. I guess it just freaks me out a little when I realize the day I've been dreaming about for almost 2 years is closing in on reality.

Anyone else get this feeling?

Our Groom's Cake!

This was one of those things I never thought we'd do. I hadn't seen it at any of the other weddings I'd been to, so it didn't make a lot of sense for us to have one. Plus, we'd booked our cake baker, and the cake was AMAZING. Seriously, I don't think I can say enough about that cake.

But somewhere in the back of my head I was a little sad about the lack of personalization of our cake. While we loved how tasty it was, we had to get special permission just to put some ribbon around the bottom. Yikes. We had wanted a pretty turquoise cake, but they only did white icing. Sigh. Then I just remembered how tasty the cake was, and I felt better.

Over Christmas, my aunt and uncle were in town, and my aunt was telling me that her nephew owned a cake making business, Swank Cake Design, in North Carolina, a state away from us. I looked at the website, and the cakes were gorgeous. So I got to thinking, why not? My aunt and uncle promised that if I got a cake from there, they'd bring it up with them.

We decided to see if he could make a cake that looked like penguins sliding on an iceberg, and he could! Plus, we got a 25% discount because we share an aunt! I'm really excited. Are you having a groom's cake? What is it?

*Photo source

I lied.

I'm going to DIY something besides my makeup... my garter. (John, I don't think you read this, but if you do, you need to go away. Now).

There are 4 big things that John likes that would go well on a garter: art, penguins, the Washington Redskins and the Miami Dolphins. To be fair, the Skins are more something that he picked up from me, and he continues to root for them because of how unwise it would be to sit beside me and root against the Skins.

So here are my ideas:

1. Mondrian Squares. (Source). Artistic, symmetrical, colorful. John is an artist, and he would love this to be included somewhere in the wedding (besides our paper products, which I'm sure he will do an absolutely amazing job with). If anyone has any idea where I could possibly get Mondrian Square fabric, that would be great, because I'll be honest... I have no freakin idea.

2. Penguins. (Source) John's favorite animal. We're having a penguin cake topper, a penguin groom's cake (more on that in a later post) and I might be getting him penguin cufflinks. Most breeds of penguins mate for life, and we really like that symbolism as we start our life together! Plus, I can see him being really excited about making that discovery at the reception. His brother (also a huge penguin lover) would be totally jealous. I don't want to over do the penguins, though. I'm not sure at which point you go from cute to weird, and I don't want to find out by crossing that line.

And finally... idea 3... the fusion. (Source and Source)

My team and his team, sewn together on one garter. He jokingly promised me this year, after the end of the Dolphins season, that next year it would be a Dolphins-Redskins Superbowl, and it would destroy our new marriage. We can live in harmony! Sort of. Until we play each other. But in the mean time, it could work!!

Thoughts? Opinions? Which one do you like best?

Yawn.

This engagement/wedding thing is exhausting me. Not the planning, not the negotiating, no, not even some of the arguments. It's a lack of sleep. Yes, I blame this on our engagement.

John and I don't live together. We lived together in college, but decided that when we moved up to the area that we're in now, we wanted to live with family until the wedding. We had our reasons: 1. Money that isn't being spent on rent is money that can be saved, or used for the wedding, or both. 2. With the economy being the way it is, we couldn't guarantee work once we got up here, and we didn't want to deal with that. (Turns out we had a lot of foresight there). 3. We wanted to move into a new place once we got married, but it would be less than a year between the time we moved up here and the time we got married. Rent for less than a year is kind of expensive, especially in this area. 4. We're having a Catholic wedding. We wanted to actually practice what we were 'preaching,' so to speak.

Anyway, since we're living apart, we visit each other in the evening after I get off of work. When I go to his place, I stay to about 9 or 10 (depends on if one of our shows is on!) and then drive home. I get to bed at around 10:30, 11:00.

I'm also starting to work out in preparation for dress fittings/honeymoon. I want to look my best! The one workout I use every day is Wii Fit. It tracks my weight, my balance, my BMI... and has a bunch of great activities on it. Unfortunately, since I live with my 3 younger siblings, who also enjoy the Wii, the only time I can guarantee I can have it to myself is early morning. Thus, I'm getting up at 5:15 so I can work out before I go to work.

This is getting me between 6-7 hours of sleep each night, and I'm really feeling that this morning. I'm really looking forward to moving in with John, because I won't have to drive home/separate myself from him at the end of the evening, and he says we can schedule "Catherine works out" time so that I can have the TV and Wii Fit all to myself at some point in the evening instead of early morning.

Anyone else sleep-deprived due to the wedding?

*Graphic from clipartandcrafts.com

World's Worst DIY Bride.

I might just win the title. I'll admit, most of my tasks are delegated to vendors, and those that aren't end up delegated to John. There are definitely pluses to marrying an artist (pretty paper products)! The one thing I'm sure now that I'm doing to DIY is my make-up. I know a lot of people say this is one thing you don't do yourself (actually, I've heard that about a lot of stuff that actually needs to be done on the wedding day) but I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty picky. I'm also pretty good with make-up (observe my work and John's hotness on the left)!

I decided I was sure that I wanted to do my own make-up when I was showing my b-pic teasers to a close friend. She asked me who did my make-up for the pictures. I'd done it myself. At that moment, I became sure that I didn't want someone else handling my look that day. I hadn't been thrilled with the before/after shots I'd seen on local makeup artist's webpages, and I wanted to be really thrilled with my makeup day of.

So here's my plan. I'm going to go into MAC the day of our e-pics (still not sure when that will be) and bring in the picture on the left. I love that look... the eyes are perfect. I love that bright look. I'll ask them to do my makeup, and just buy whatever they use. Granted, all eye make-up must be waterproof. I'll probably be a crier. Then I'll get some Model in a Bottle which I've seen a ton of knotties swear by. I'll have my hairdresser do my hair, and I'll do my own makeup back at home. Plus, I love photos that I've seen of brides doing their own makeup. They seem so... human. I like that. While I appreciate the wanting to be a princess for a day feeling, I love the look of a bride doing her own makeup. I'll just have some touch-ups in my clutch.

Is anyone else doing their own makeup and or hair for their wedding? Why?

(Sorry for the wierd formatting in this post, I have no idea why it's doing that!)

The veil dilemma

Like many brides (especially David's Bridal brides) I got caught up in the moment of purchasing my dress and bought quite a few accessories along with it. The one that concerns me? The veil. Now don't get me wrong. I have a really pretty veil. Go see it! The beading on it matches the beading on my gown exactly.

But sometimes I wonder if a longer veil wouldn't be nicer. I love the look of cathedral/chapel length veils. They have this romantic, bridal feel to them. The one layer veils are so pretty, but I'd miss the blusher. That's definitely something that I want. Then I discovered that on Ebay, you can get those veils for less than $20! ValuVeil got recommendations all over the knot. This one and this one particularly strike my fancy. But I don't know... I don't want to buy a veil (especially since I have one!) and not like it.

To see a picture of me in my gown, go here. Now what do you think... long veil, 2 layers, long veil, 1 layer, or the one I've got?

*Sorry about the lack of photos, I don't want the wrong people (or person) to accidentally see this!

Honeymooning!

Honeymooning was one of the things I was most excited about from day 1. Newlyweds, tropical beach vacation... what's not to like about that idea? John and I took the longest time figuring out where we would go... seriously, we started thinking about it when we got engaged, but didn't make a decision until November 2008. That's a year and a half of thinking about it.

We knew we wanted tropical, and we knew we wanted to leave the US. Hawaii was out, too touristy. We also wanted a place that would not be considered kid friendly. We love kids, and want kids a few years down the line, but we did not want them to be an aspect of our honeymoon in any way, shape or form. Hopefully, including the conception of them.

First, we loved the idea of Bora Bora. The travel sites said it was one of the best places to go in July, it looked beautiful, there were white sand beaches and overwater bungalows... but there was also the price. Regretfully, flying halfway across the globe was not in our budget, and . So we started to look in closer locales: we began with Aruba. It was so nice, and out of the hurricane belt, too! But was it too commercial? Then we thought about Mustique or Young Island. Also very nice. But maybe too quiet. Then we thought about Belize. Modern Bride said it was like Bora Bora on a budget, which was definitely what we were going for! Then we realized that the site we wanted to book through hadn't updated in about a year... yikes.

Then, we found it. Local, low priced, and all-inclusive. We can also afford the airfare, woohoo!

I am so excited about our honeymoon. We'll be going to Couples Negril in Negril, Jamaica. It's the resort pictured above :) It has beautiful beaches, everything is included, and the only bad review I found of the place was from someone who was there during Hurricane Ivan. We bought trip insurance in case of a hurricane, and we're spending a week there for under $4K, including flights! How many places did you look at for your honeymoon? Where are you going?

Rehearsal dinner

I'm really excited about the rehearsal dinner. Mostly because... well, I don't have to plan it. But we gave FFIL 2 options of where we wanted the rehearsal dinner to be. We're thinking either Jaleo or Madigan's Waterfront.

Jaleo is delicious. They have small, light dishes, incredible sangria, and a great atmosphere. John and I have had a lot of fun meals there, so I would be happy about having the dinner there. It's also in a fun area, and literally a block away from FFIL's condo, so I would really be happy about having dinner there. I know we'd have a great time, a great atmosphere, and a great meal. It also really matches the feel of our wedding, especially in the private room.

Madigans Waterfront carries more meaning to us, though. Note the name: Waterfront. Yup, it looks at the dock where John proposed to me! It's really pretty (great windows!), and we considered having our wedding reception there, but it was too small. It's the perfect size for a rehearsal dinner or a really small wedding, though. The only issue is we've never eaten there, so we don't really know what the food is like. It's also in a great area.

I don't know where it will actually be since FFIL is taking care of it, but he has the guest list and he's making a move on it soon! So exciting!

How about you... is your rehearsal dinner in an exciting or meaningful location to you and your FI?

Inspiration from all the wierd places

There are a lot of standard places to get wedding inspirations: bridal magazines, wedding websites, wedding blogs, vendor sites. But sometimes you just get your "go for it!" from a completely random place. In fact, one of my favorite wedding details came from this guy. Yes... the pope. He's all-around awesome.

When I was looking through Modern Brides, I started to see a trend I kind of liked: colored wedding shoes. I didn't think I was so bold as to go for a red, but maybe a nice blush color? Pink could have gone with my colors. Or turquoise. But every time I saw one of those pictures and thought about it, the furthest I could ever see myself going from white would be a light pink. The idea I had in my head was more of a white peep toe with a crystal detail... very traditionally bridal. I honestly didn't think I was the type of bride that could pull it off.

Then one day, Mom, my sister, my grandmother and I went out to look for a MOB dress. After our (successful!) hunt, we walked through the shoe department at Nordstroms. Glancing through the displays, I saw the most beautiful pair of shoes. Medium heel, slingback, roundtoe, and a deep, deep red.
I stopped and said, "If those shoes were pink, they would be my perfect wedding shoes." Then Mom responded, "If the Pope can wear red shoes with his white robe, why can't you wear red shoes with your wedding dress?" And I thought about it and realized that she was right! There was no reason why I couldn't pull that look off. I sat down, asked for the shoes in my size and made the pleasant discovery that they were actually comfortable, too! So I bought the shoes.
I am in love with them. They are one of my favorite parts of my wedding outfit. In fact, I bought them before my dress, and wouldn't buy a dress that didn't go with the shoes! The best part is I can wear these shoes again after the wedding. I don't know why I drifted away from my original shoe 'vision' but I'm so glad I did. Did anyone else get wedding inspiration from an unusual place?

Engagement length

I really haven't wavered on much in the wedding planning. Normally, once I make a decision, the decision is made, and that's that. The one thing I've really wondered about is did we make the right decision about how long to be engaged?

Actually, that's a misleading statement. I know we made the right decision, it was just a difficult one. John and I got engaged March 24, 2007 and we'll get married July 3, 2009. That's an engagement of 2 years and 3 months.

When John and I first started planning, we looked at the things we wanted to accomplish before our wedding: his graduation, my graduation, getting a job, holding a job, saving some money. We were also really young, and wanted to be sure we weren't making an impetuous decision that we'd later regret. His graduation was only a month and a half away, but mine wasn't for another year. I knew I didn't want to jump straight out of college and into marriage, so we started looking at dates a few months to a year out from graduation. I liked May 2009, mainly because I would have loved a May wedding, but that idea quickly ended up on the chopping block when it was pointed out that both of our moms and two best friends (now bridesmaids) are teachers, and May is standardized testing month.

So we ended up looking at four dates: November 29, 2008; April 18, 2009; July 4, 2009; November 28, 2009. Based on schedules from all VIPs, we decided July 4 would be best. We ended up moving that to Friday, July 3 when we realized that the times we could get reception halls and the times we could get married made for a logistical nightmare.

With the current economic conditions, I know we made the smart choice. I have a great job and the only debt I'll have when we enter our marriage will be my car loan. John's been having a bit more trouble. He worked in the auto business, and got out right before it tanked. He's been doing temp jobs while he looks for something permanent, but it hasn't been easy to find something. I don't think we could support ourselves alone at the moment. He's got good leads right now though, so keep your fingers crossed!

As certain days have passed, however, I've had my doubts. The first was September 24, 2007. Our parish requires 6 months notice before a couple can get married, and so that was the first day we could have gotten married. I was kind of sad realizing that we could get married any day we wanted to at that point, but the wedding was still so far away. I also had a depressed day like that when our first possible date passed. In fact, I think the engagement length is fueling a lot of my current urge to just elope now!

I can't wait to be married to him, this whole thing feels so long sometimes.

Anyone else making smart decisions that just aren't really making you happy?

Let's be cliche today.

I'll just hop on the bridal bandwagon and talk about getting in shape for the wedding!

I've seen a version of my story on every wedding board/blog I'm on or follow. I was a dancer from kindergarten to my senior year of high school. I think I had my best body in junior and senior year: puberty was over and I had curves, but I was working out all the time at dance class, so I was really well toned. Then comes my twist in the story. About a month before graduation, I did a step wrong in a dance routine and broke my right knee. Everyone will be happier if I don't go into details. I had surgery and went into physical therapy, but my legs have never been in the same shape.

The rest of me held out for a while longer. An ex once described my stomach as "the perfect girl stomach: flat with rock hard abs." With the exception of the messed up leg, I was in fantastic shape when I met John. I tried to get back into dance classes through my college, but ballet was ridiculously painful, and the end of that came when I twisted that same knee learning how to ski. Since then, I've tried to get back into a workout routine, but something always happens that I miss a day, and I never get back into it.

Well, my wake-up call came in two forms this holiday season. I work on the fourth floor, and one day I took the stairs. I felt worn out at the top! That was not a good sign. Pair that with the second wake-up call: a small weight gain. Three pounds isn't that much, but when your weight has held steady for six years and then you realize it's going up, it's a bit of an unpleasant surprise.

I have a really fast metabolism, but I'm realizing that won't keep me in shape, and it's not going to stay that way forever. Step one in my new fitness routine came in the form of my brother's Christmas gift: Wii Fit! I've started getting up earlier to do Wii Fit in the morning instead of trying to squeeze exercise in any random time of day, or even worse, right before bed. I've also continued to take the stairs: I won't do the elevator unless I have the cart, I'm in an unfamiliar building (I haven't taken the time to scope out the stairs in any of the other buildings on my work campus) or my knee is really bad. I've learned taking the stairs when my knee is really stiff is just painful.

I'm also thinking about taking the 100 push up challenge and buying 30 Day Shred. For the record, John is working out too, trying to get better muscle tone for the wedding! Any other ideas for working out? Anyone else trying to get in shape for the new year and for their wedding?

Our Story

Every wedding blog should have the tale of how the bride and groom came to be the bride and groom, don't you think?


John and I are college sweethearts. We first locked eyes over the mashed potatoes. He was the cute guy on the hot food line that my roommate and I drooled over every evening (to be fair, she noticed him first). I was the pretty girl he checked out every evening. But we never spoke aside from food requests until one day, when I opened a facebook message, and realized it was from him! We started talking online, and then a few evenings later my roommate decided to watch Final Destination. During a particularly gory scene, John invited me over to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Now, hindsight being 20/20, I realize going over to a random stranger's room at midnight, telling only a person who was half asleep where you would be, is a ridiculously bad idea. It turned out well, though. We talked all night. Things then took a turn for the worse: I was warming up to him, but he knew right away that he liked me. He came on really strong and freaked me out! I reluctantly agreed to go on a few dates with him (short dessert date, brought him to a sorority dance). But then he backed off, and when we both went back to our hometowns over summer break (amazingly, only 10 minutes apart) he won over my best friend, mom, and sister all in one day. I was done for.

We got engaged in March 2007. At the time, we were both poor college students and couldn't afford... well, anything! He bought me a beautiful blue topaz and silver ring, and slid it on my finger while I was still asleep. I woke up and he asked me to marry him! Keeping it quiet was so hard... we wanted to tell our parents first in person, but that meant not telling anyone about our engagement for 2 weeks when you want to shout it to the world.

I didn't expect the permanent ring for a long time, but we started looking right away. He had a surprise for me two months after the initial proposal, though. We spent the whole day looking at rings, then we went out for dinner and to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3 on opening night. I felt really piratey after the movie, so I thought nothing of it when he asked me to go to the docks of Lake Occaquon with him. We started walking on the docks, and then he told me he was sorry, but the day had been a lie. "Huh?" He then told me he'd already bought me a ring, got down on one knee, and asked me again! It was amazing!

Isn't it stunning? It wasn't one I pointed out, either! He did such a great job!

Did anyone else have more than one proposal?

The start of my new bridal blog!

For months I'd tried to blog on my old xanga, but I really think it's best that I start fresh with a blog that I haven't had since high school.

I really find it interesting to look at the phases a bride goes through when planning her wedding. The initial dream, the new initial dream, the reality, the "Screw it all! Let's go to Vegas!" Back to reality, and then a lot of cycling between Vegas and reality.

My initial dream was the big, formal wedding. Ball gown, tuxedos, all the women in floor length dresses, a whole orchestra at the ceremony (even in my dreams, I knew I was pushing it with that one), candlelit dinner, tons of people, etc. John wasn't really on that train with me. His dream was much, much smaller: 50-75 people, maybe a garden wedding. Intimate.

We ended up compromising on that. We're Catholic, so the garden wedding dream wasn't to be. We're getting married in the Church where I grew up. Looking at prices, I started to realize how horribly unrealistic my huge wedding idea was, and I wanted the small wedding, too. Nice, formal, intimate.

Reality also set in with the inclusion of parents in planning. My parents offered to pay, so they got some say in the guest list, and 50-75 people just wouldn't cut it. We ended up with a guest list of 140 people. I also became more aware of my tastes as far as weddings were concerned: I loved the less formal favors, dinner choices and bridesmaids dresses that I saw on theknot. I also realized ball gowns and I didn't mix so well, and I preferred gowns that were a little less formal.

Our reality right now is a formal side of semi-formal wedding, 140 guests.

So what pushes a bride to Vegas after finding her reality? For me, it's been other realities, or boredom. When I hit a lull in planning, and I can just sit and watch our engagement go by, it reminds me how badly I want to be married to John, and I get a "let's run off!" feeling. I also currently live with my family while John and I save money, and sometimes I just want to go, "keep your money! I'm starting my honeymoon early and getting married there!" I usually think better of it, though.

Has anyone else gotten that feeling? What caused it?