Things are still kind of rough on my end, though I think they're getting better.
I have a job, at least for the next few weeks. Then I have a backup plan. I'm calming down. We decided to go ahead with the wedding as planned.
I had massive cold feet for like a week, talked to John about them, and we agreed that we'd spend a little bit of time apart. I'm pretty sure that they're garden variety cold feet (I talked to my dad about it and he said what I was feeling was normal) but I just want to verify that it's more fear of change and less 'my instincts are telling me something.' I really think it's just a ton of stress and the fact that the wedding is only 4 months away, but I have to be sure.
My pet betta died last night. I came home from work and he was just lying there at the bottom of his bowl. I had him for over 2 years. He was so pretty, deep red and blue and violet in the middle... I miss him. When Fishie was younger, he used to dance when I was about to feed him. John was there for comforting purposes, and I was so glad to have him there. I'm not sure if I'll get another fish or not, it's too soon.
I'm hoping everything comes together soon.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Paaaast... the point of no return..... the final threshhold!
Invitations are now even more key than they were before. In fact, they determine if John and I are getting married on time or not. Based on our current timeline for invites (out May 4, RSVP June 3) our invites have to be printed no later than April 1. This will now be called the "point of no return" (or PONR, for short). We now have three scenarios, each with the possible job combinations we would need for this to occur.
Scenario 1: We get married on 7/3. Ideal.
How we get there: John and I have jobs.
OR
John has a job (I could have no job or a temp job in this situation)
OR
I have a job (he could have no job or a temp job in this situation).
Scenario 2: We postpone. Sadness.
How we get there: John and I don't have jobs
OR
We have temp jobs that are not temp to hire.
Scenario 3: We move the PONR. This is the least likely, and will only be considered in the following situations:
John or I has a temp-to-hire job that will be decided soon after the PONR. The other partner does not have a job
OR
Both John and I have a temp-to-hire job that will be decided soon after the PONR.
If that were the case, we'd move the RSVP date (which we kind of don't want to do, because there's a lot of things we don't want to make or buy until we have RSVPs) thereby moving the printing date. We would only do this if we knew we could find out about the permanence or lack thereof in the job within the next 2 weeks.
Scenario 3 is really possible though, because I just interviewed for a temp-to-hire position within the company I'm currently contracted to. It would go until the end of April, at which time they would decide whether or not to hire me. I could probably find out 2 weeks beforehand if they were planning on hiring me or letting me go, though.
I hate uncertainty.
Scenario 1: We get married on 7/3. Ideal.
How we get there: John and I have jobs.
OR
John has a job (I could have no job or a temp job in this situation)
OR
I have a job (he could have no job or a temp job in this situation).
Scenario 2: We postpone. Sadness.
How we get there: John and I don't have jobs
OR
We have temp jobs that are not temp to hire.
Scenario 3: We move the PONR. This is the least likely, and will only be considered in the following situations:
John or I has a temp-to-hire job that will be decided soon after the PONR. The other partner does not have a job
OR
Both John and I have a temp-to-hire job that will be decided soon after the PONR.
If that were the case, we'd move the RSVP date (which we kind of don't want to do, because there's a lot of things we don't want to make or buy until we have RSVPs) thereby moving the printing date. We would only do this if we knew we could find out about the permanence or lack thereof in the job within the next 2 weeks.
Scenario 3 is really possible though, because I just interviewed for a temp-to-hire position within the company I'm currently contracted to. It would go until the end of April, at which time they would decide whether or not to hire me. I could probably find out 2 weeks beforehand if they were planning on hiring me or letting me go, though.
I hate uncertainty.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sorry for my absence.
It's been an awful week, and I just needed to get away from it before I could write about it.
It started with the email from weddingbee. I'm not what they're looking for at the time being. It was disappointing, and I could have handled it if it weren't for the fact that it was only the beginning.
The next day I lost my job. My position is being eliminated at the end of the month. I have an interview tomorrow with a recommendation from my boss elsewhere inside the company, but I'm still really worried. John's temp position ends at the end of the month, too, so we could both be jobless as of March. We've given ourselves until April 1 to find new jobs (or even just a job! We could squeeze by on one salary for a little while) or we'll have to postpone.
Then I got a ticket on Friday. Happy Friday the 13th to me. It was my first violation ever. And I discovered while going to pay for gas that I left my check card at a restaurant the night before. It was safe, but still.
What an emotionally exhausting and awful week. I could have handled any of those things alone, but together, it was really overwhelming. I don't want to say this week can only be better, lest I invoke Murphy's Law, but I sure hope it is.
It started with the email from weddingbee. I'm not what they're looking for at the time being. It was disappointing, and I could have handled it if it weren't for the fact that it was only the beginning.
The next day I lost my job. My position is being eliminated at the end of the month. I have an interview tomorrow with a recommendation from my boss elsewhere inside the company, but I'm still really worried. John's temp position ends at the end of the month, too, so we could both be jobless as of March. We've given ourselves until April 1 to find new jobs (or even just a job! We could squeeze by on one salary for a little while) or we'll have to postpone.
Then I got a ticket on Friday. Happy Friday the 13th to me. It was my first violation ever. And I discovered while going to pay for gas that I left my check card at a restaurant the night before. It was safe, but still.
What an emotionally exhausting and awful week. I could have handled any of those things alone, but together, it was really overwhelming. I don't want to say this week can only be better, lest I invoke Murphy's Law, but I sure hope it is.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Well, one of us hit the wall.
Remember my post yesterday? About hitting the wall, not really wanting to plan anymore for a while, done, all that jazz? Turns out it was just me. John came over last night with a wedding to-do list. Which, come to think of it, was pretty awesome.
We sat down and started working out our day-of timeline. It's still pretty bare-bones, since we don't have time confirmations on the florist or baker or anything, but we were able to figure out when we needed to be doing what, and when the photographers and videographer needed to be in place. It's also only up to the beginning of the reception, but not the point. We also started working out transportation issues, figuring out how everyone was getting to and from the church, and when I'd be getting my brother back for family photos (he's a groomsman). I think that's going to need to be tweaked a little since the way we have it only really allows 15 minutes for family pictures on my side. I wrote out the timeline at the bottom of this post.
We also decided on some of our music for our reception. We'd gone back and forth for a long time on what we wanted our first dance to be, and we finally made a decision: "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge! It really said what we wanted to say in our first dance: "Come what may/come what may/I will love you/until my dying day." We also decided to have "Thank you" by Dido as our last dance.
Have you worked out your day of timeline? How about music?
Our timeline: (A few groom's details are omitted).
8:30- Wake up
8:45- light workout, Wii Fit?
9:15- shower
10:00- breakfast
10:30- bridesmaids arrive, photographer arrives
11:00- hair (groom's side: groomsmen arrive, photographer arrives)
12:45- lunch
1:30- make up and dressing
(2:15- guys to church, touchups before pictures)
3:00- Portraits with bridal party (separate)
3:35- Christian to bride's side
3:45- Family pictures (this part will need tweaking, based on the next time)
4:10- Groomsmen and ushers must be at church. Videographer arrives at church.
4:30- Limo arrives for bride, bridesmaids, Dad
4:40- Leave for church
5:00-ceremony
5:35- ceremony ends, receiving line
6:00- 5 minutes of Catherine/John time
6:05- joint photos
6:30- cocktail hour begins
6:45- bride, groom, bridal party head to reception
We sat down and started working out our day-of timeline. It's still pretty bare-bones, since we don't have time confirmations on the florist or baker or anything, but we were able to figure out when we needed to be doing what, and when the photographers and videographer needed to be in place. It's also only up to the beginning of the reception, but not the point. We also started working out transportation issues, figuring out how everyone was getting to and from the church, and when I'd be getting my brother back for family photos (he's a groomsman). I think that's going to need to be tweaked a little since the way we have it only really allows 15 minutes for family pictures on my side. I wrote out the timeline at the bottom of this post.
We also decided on some of our music for our reception. We'd gone back and forth for a long time on what we wanted our first dance to be, and we finally made a decision: "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge! It really said what we wanted to say in our first dance: "Come what may/come what may/I will love you/until my dying day." We also decided to have "Thank you" by Dido as our last dance.
Have you worked out your day of timeline? How about music?
Our timeline: (A few groom's details are omitted).
8:30- Wake up
8:45- light workout, Wii Fit?
9:15- shower
10:00- breakfast
10:30- bridesmaids arrive, photographer arrives
11:00- hair (groom's side: groomsmen arrive, photographer arrives)
12:45- lunch
1:30- make up and dressing
(2:15- guys to church, touchups before pictures)
3:00- Portraits with bridal party (separate)
3:35- Christian to bride's side
3:45- Family pictures (this part will need tweaking, based on the next time)
4:10- Groomsmen and ushers must be at church. Videographer arrives at church.
4:30- Limo arrives for bride, bridesmaids, Dad
4:40- Leave for church
5:00-ceremony
5:35- ceremony ends, receiving line
6:00- 5 minutes of Catherine/John time
6:05- joint photos
6:30- cocktail hour begins
6:45- bride, groom, bridal party head to reception
Monday, February 9, 2009
Well, I've hit the wall.
Awesome.
I'm now at the point where I've done all the big things, and the little things that I have left to do I really can't until much closer to the wedding. I don't want to start DIY paper stuff, because it could get crumpled. Yeah, I know it's mostly design, but that will be on John. The art major. I don't want to start thinking a lot about hair and makeup until I have my dress fitted (so I can see what it really looks like) and that's not until April. I've got the ceremony, but I don't want to contact our priest until our marriage affidavits are signed so all our paperwork is complete. I could get the rings sized, but I want to wait until the weather is warmer so the rings will fit over our fingers during the ceremony.
I guess this is what 5 months out feels like in a 2 year engagement.
Anyone else hit the wall?
I'm now at the point where I've done all the big things, and the little things that I have left to do I really can't until much closer to the wedding. I don't want to start DIY paper stuff, because it could get crumpled. Yeah, I know it's mostly design, but that will be on John. The art major. I don't want to start thinking a lot about hair and makeup until I have my dress fitted (so I can see what it really looks like) and that's not until April. I've got the ceremony, but I don't want to contact our priest until our marriage affidavits are signed so all our paperwork is complete. I could get the rings sized, but I want to wait until the weather is warmer so the rings will fit over our fingers during the ceremony.
I guess this is what 5 months out feels like in a 2 year engagement.
Anyone else hit the wall?
Friday, February 6, 2009
Major relief
John has work for a month!
I don't know if I've blogged about this before, but John is mostly out of work. He and I are both temps, but I have a long term temp-to-hire position, and he has day-to-day jobs. He normally finds out a day or two in advance if he has work, and it normally only lasts for a day or two. It's been pretty stressful on us, because it's hard to budget and plan when we don't know how much money will be coming in on any given day. We want to start seriously looking at apartments, but we really don't know what we can look at, since we don't have a strong idea of what our steady income will be.
However, for the next month, he's a file clerk. He'll get a regular paycheck, which will help with debt, and put him in a MUCH better position when an apartment complex runs a credit check on us. He can also keep searching for a job while he actually has an income. He's working on setting up an interview right now, so I hope that goes well.
On a really selfish note (to be fair, he brought it up first) I'm glad he'll have a job for Valentine's Day. While yes, some of our more romantic V-days were when we were broke, we were also in college and had a lot more privacy. Plus, this jobless thing has really been a hit on his self-esteem, so being able to take me out is a big deal to him.
I'm just really glad that we're starting to see an upswing for him. Keep your fingers crossed.
I don't know if I've blogged about this before, but John is mostly out of work. He and I are both temps, but I have a long term temp-to-hire position, and he has day-to-day jobs. He normally finds out a day or two in advance if he has work, and it normally only lasts for a day or two. It's been pretty stressful on us, because it's hard to budget and plan when we don't know how much money will be coming in on any given day. We want to start seriously looking at apartments, but we really don't know what we can look at, since we don't have a strong idea of what our steady income will be.
However, for the next month, he's a file clerk. He'll get a regular paycheck, which will help with debt, and put him in a MUCH better position when an apartment complex runs a credit check on us. He can also keep searching for a job while he actually has an income. He's working on setting up an interview right now, so I hope that goes well.
On a really selfish note (to be fair, he brought it up first) I'm glad he'll have a job for Valentine's Day. While yes, some of our more romantic V-days were when we were broke, we were also in college and had a lot more privacy. Plus, this jobless thing has really been a hit on his self-esteem, so being able to take me out is a big deal to him.
I'm just really glad that we're starting to see an upswing for him. Keep your fingers crossed.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Oh my.
5 months.
150 days.
We're getting close! I'm getting to a part of my planning that I'm genuinely concerned about though: the part where I have to hand the reins over to someone else, and hope that they do it. The 3 things that are currently on our list are: get rehearsal dinner booked, find attire for groomsmen, and get our marriage affidavits signed and turned in. None of these things are things I control.
John and his side of the family take care of 2.5 (rehearsal, attire, and affidavits) of the 3 things, my family takes care of the other .5 (affidavits). Part of the Catholic marriage preparation is having 2 witnesses for each of you fill out an affidavit saying that you're free to marry in the Church, and you're marrying of your own free will. These need to be signed in the presence of a priest or deacon. I just have to hope that our people will remember to bring them to Church with them on Sunday!
It's really hard to relinquish control. For the entirety of our engagement, I've been in charge, and when I need something from someone else, I'm usually involved (John, we're meeting with a florist on Monday. Carlin, can you attend a dress appointment Saturday morning?). When my decisions involve other people, they get input, but I'm still the one setting things up and getting things done. You always hear that no one really cares about your wedding as much as you do, which is true and totally ok. What's kind of scary is telling those people that you need something done, and knowing there's really not much you can do once the request is made except for follow up.
Ok, scared vent over. Anyone else getting the "getting close but not too close" nerves?
150 days.
We're getting close! I'm getting to a part of my planning that I'm genuinely concerned about though: the part where I have to hand the reins over to someone else, and hope that they do it. The 3 things that are currently on our list are: get rehearsal dinner booked, find attire for groomsmen, and get our marriage affidavits signed and turned in. None of these things are things I control.
John and his side of the family take care of 2.5 (rehearsal, attire, and affidavits) of the 3 things, my family takes care of the other .5 (affidavits). Part of the Catholic marriage preparation is having 2 witnesses for each of you fill out an affidavit saying that you're free to marry in the Church, and you're marrying of your own free will. These need to be signed in the presence of a priest or deacon. I just have to hope that our people will remember to bring them to Church with them on Sunday!
It's really hard to relinquish control. For the entirety of our engagement, I've been in charge, and when I need something from someone else, I'm usually involved (John, we're meeting with a florist on Monday. Carlin, can you attend a dress appointment Saturday morning?). When my decisions involve other people, they get input, but I'm still the one setting things up and getting things done. You always hear that no one really cares about your wedding as much as you do, which is true and totally ok. What's kind of scary is telling those people that you need something done, and knowing there's really not much you can do once the request is made except for follow up.
Ok, scared vent over. Anyone else getting the "getting close but not too close" nerves?
Monday, February 2, 2009
My wonderful weekend
After three painfully long months, I finally got to go back to my college town to see my OOT bridesmaids!! Jenn and Marsha are both sorority sisters of mine (my little and big, respectively) who still live in the town where we went to college. Marsha got a job there, and Jenn is seeking her Masters degree. Part of the reason it was so exciting to go down there was I finally got to give them their bridesmaid dresses!
I'll be honest, I would not strongly recommend what we did. When I went gown shopping, my sister/MOH saw a dress in a poster, and commented on how much she liked it. It was really similar to the dress I had been looking at as a bridesmaid dress, and 3/4 girls had tried on and liked (well, to the extent you could like a dress that was a hideous sample color and could fit two people in it). So Carlin tried it on, and loved it. She was able to figure out her size pretty easily (that tiny picture is her trying it on, I'm the creeper in the right mirror with the camera). I brought Nikki to David's a few days later, and she tried it on and loved it. Same thing with size. I had asked Marsha and Jenn to try it on, but they were really busy and just told me to go with it. So we did, sight unseen, kind of winging it on sizes (Jenn gave me her measurements, Marsha told me to get her a specific size).
I got them their dresses this weekend, and they both looked AMAZING. Both dresses fit, only slight alterations needed, and they looked soooooooooo pretty. The color works to well on both of them, and it's so flattering. A note to any brides reading this who have not yet selected a bridesmaids dress: simple is good.
I'm so relieved this worked out. Sorry for the tiny photo, you can click it to enlarge. Our dress is David's Bridal 8933 in Pool. Did anyone else just kind of wing it with the bridesmaids dresses?
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