I might be back to regular posting? Maybe?

Things are still kind of rough on my end, though I think they're getting better.

I have a job, at least for the next few weeks. Then I have a backup plan. I'm calming down. We decided to go ahead with the wedding as planned.

I had massive cold feet for like a week, talked to John about them, and we agreed that we'd spend a little bit of time apart. I'm pretty sure that they're garden variety cold feet (I talked to my dad about it and he said what I was feeling was normal) but I just want to verify that it's more fear of change and less 'my instincts are telling me something.' I really think it's just a ton of stress and the fact that the wedding is only 4 months away, but I have to be sure.

My pet betta died last night. I came home from work and he was just lying there at the bottom of his bowl. I had him for over 2 years. He was so pretty, deep red and blue and violet in the middle... I miss him. When Fishie was younger, he used to dance when I was about to feed him. John was there for comforting purposes, and I was so glad to have him there. I'm not sure if I'll get another fish or not, it's too soon.

I'm hoping everything comes together soon.